When this world isn't in your side

Growing to my twenties episode, i can feel uncertainty feelings. All is mixed up till i can't feel that anyway. Sometimes life is getting easier and being harder in a sudden. I can't expect what's next cause everything just come and go in a sudden too. 

Now i'm here, sitting in my chair and try to write this didn't mean that i'm winning this phase. But, it  just means that i'm aware with the feeling inside my heart. Sometimes i neglect it, sometimes i'm aware and it's like a circle of life in me. 

Talking about activities and dreams are something that sometimes can made me missing my self. Why? Cause when i talk about myself more i loose my purpose. Like what Jordan Kamal (founder MauBelajarApa) said that " The moment you think about yourself, you didn't giving impact". It means that when I seek attention by always protecting my image, i can loose my creativity even my identity. So scary but please don't worry. 

When i feel that my dream didn't get support. I always said to my self "It will always be difficult until I try, I have to try it so that i can taste it, taste the way of it so that there will be a moment i can proudly say -it's easy but ya you have to bla bla bla-". 

I told to myself "Keep tryin till God say u're time is enough Din, mau sejatuh apapun kamu suatu saat nanti, ketika Allah masih kasih waktu please use it properly".

Life is about trial n error for me (at least for now), i never got  to know my zone till i'm trying that.  if things get to be wrong, the things (lesson, activity, learning process, etc) that i'm doing or working with isn't wrong, the only wrong thing is me. I fail to apply it in my daily, and then become my habit, till it become Me as a person. 

I'm not a perfect person want to be. I can be wrong, what i do can be so bad. My thingking can be so frustrating too. And i feel that it's normal. As long as i keep improving my self. 

For you, who  dealing with the same things with me. Don't worry! I feel that and i'm still figuring about it.  But i'm sure we can pass this.